


Brian's Worst Nightmare

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-05
Updated: 2007-05-05
Packaged: 2018-12-26 23:58:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian has a nightmare, but could it actually be a memory resurfacing?





	Brian's Worst Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: Just a warning - one beta refused to read this when I told her the idea - and the other only read it because I didn't give her a warning. This is potentially upsetting, but in a fun kind of way.  


* * *

Justin's POV

He wakes himself up from another nightmare by screaming.  This is the third time this week and the lack of sleep is starting to take its toll on the both of us.  I cuddle up to him again offering silent comfort.  I learned after the first night this happened, two weeks ago, not to try and talk to him.  

*two weeks prior*

"aaahhhhhhhhhhh"

"Shit Brian.  Are you okay?  What's wrong?"

"Leave me alone!"  Brian shoves me away, gets out of bed, and stalks down to the kitchen.  I watch him grab a bottle of beam, open it, and take a large swallow.  I sit rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and try to decide if I should go after him or not.  I hear him slam the bottle down on the counter and decide to try and go back to sleep.

About an hour of tossing and turning later – I feel the bed dip as Brian climbs back into bed.  I stay still, waiting to see if he'll move toward me like usual.  He doesn't.  He stays as far from me as possible.

*present day*

 Brian's POV

I'm pushed down onto the bed – flat on my back.  I feel disoriented, and my head is fuzzy.  I'm thinking of that fucking bitch Anita and that I really need to find a new supplier.  

The TV is still on; showing the same images over and over.  Plane crash, search for survivors, the country is in shock.

To my left there are other people on the bed.  This is not really a 3-way, a 4-way or a daisy chain.  And not enough people to really be an orgy I realize.  It's really hard to define.  It started with me, Scott, Kevin, and the Todd's. Then that's when it starts to get fuzzy.

I'm always up for a good time though, and I do mean up.  There is something wrong with this picture though – I'm not the one who's in control of this current situation.

I can tell there is someone above me pressing me down into the bed, preventing me from moving at all.

Fuck this, I'm getting up.

No really, I'm getting up.

Or maybe I'll just lie here.

Why is this guy lifting my legs?  Doesn't every gay guy in the Pitts know that … OMG!  

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"

"Brian?  Brian!?!  Are you alright?"

"Don't touch me!"

Justin's POV

And with that he is up off the bed and in the bathroom with the door closed.  'Leave me alone,' I can understand, but since when does Brian not liked to be touched, and by me?

I really don't know what to do about this.  After the bashing when I had nightmares Brian always seemed to know how to soothe me, but I just can't figure out what to do with him.  He won't talk to me, he won't let me near him for the rest of the night, and now I can't even touch him slightly.  

The fact that he hasn't initiated sex in the last two weeks is also concerning me.  Don't get me wrong we've still had sex, but only when I've initiated it and even then he didn't seem to be into it.  

If Brian wasn't Brian I would be sure he was seeing someone else, but let's face it, it was hard enough for him to let one man into his life; there is no way he could do it again.

Brian's POV

I'm pathetic.  I'm sitting on my own bathroom floor with my back against the door trying to keep Justin out because I just don't know if I can talk to him about this.

It all started two weeks ago when I had probably the worst nightmare I have ever had.  I woke up virtually in a panic and not even an entire bottle of beam could calm me.  That night when I got back into bed the very idea of touching a man, even Justin, just didn't sit right with me so I stayed on my side of the bed.  And even though I didn't think it was possible things have only gone downhill from there.

Each night I actually hope that Justin will be too tired or just not feel up to sex.  Yes I did say that.  The problem is after the first couple of times I had the same nightmare I started to realize that it might not have been a nightmare at all, but rather a reality long since buried in my subconscious emerging.

If I'm right and this is actually a memory, when I tell Justin I think everything will change.  Hell, admitting the truth to myself has already changed me; I just don't feel like Brian Kinney anymore.  

So where does that leave me other than confused?

*Another two weeks later*

I can tell there is someone above me pressing me down into the bed, preventing me from moving at all.

Fuck this, I'm getting up.

No really, I'm getting up.

Or maybe I'll just lie here.

Why is this guy lifting my legs?  Doesn't every gay guy in the Pitts know that … OMG!  

Oh god that hurts!

This guy didn't even use any lube, he just started entering me like he was afraid I was going somewhere.  And I would have if this fucked up E that Anita gave me wasn't making my limbs feel so fucking heavy.  

Oh god he's thrusting into me so hard now, all I can think is thank god he is using a condom.

Okay that's not really all I can think, ugh, I can also feel, ugh, his thick, ugh, hard, ugh, cock hitting my prostate, ugggh, over and, ughh, and it actually, oh god, feels good.

No, fuck that, it feels great.

Finally, I stop trying to fight the whole I'm Brian Kinney and I don't bottom mentality and just go with the pleasure.

Looking to my left I see Scott and the two Todds doing a daisy chain next to us on the bed.  I vaguely wonder where Kevin is for a minute before I hear him whisper something in my ear.

"Suck my cock Kinney!"

I turn my head to the right and see that he's been standing next to me, watching me get fucked, while he strokes himself.  His cock, which is almost as large as mine, is level with my mouth so I decide to just go with it and wrap my lips around the bulbous head.

I'm honestly not sure how much more pounding I can take from this guy when I feel him wrap his hand around my cock and fist it in time with his thrusts.  Suddenly I'm shooting all over my stomach and chest, he shoots into the condom yelling loudly while my ass clamps down on his cock, and Kevin shoots down my throat.

After a few minutes have gone by I realize that mystery guy and Kevin are gone, Scott and the Todds have finished and are getting dressed and ready to leave. 

 While I might have been a big ole' bottom tonight my reputation hasn't completely disappeared, none of them even bothers attempting to spend the night or to try and get seconds.

The next morning with my ass still a little sore I make my way down to the kitchen and see a pile of paperwork sitting there that I don't remember from yesterday, looking it over the realization hits me like a hammer to the forehead….

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Justin's POV

Oh for fuck's sake, that's it, this ends tonight!

Tonight I don't even bother trying to console him, I stopped trying about a week and a half ago, I just lay in wait for him to eventually come back to bed.

Whatever is wrong we need to talk about it and fix it. I love him and this needs to get better.  But also, and almost as importantly, I'm horny and haven't had sex since I stopped trying to console him!

He's finally coming back to bed; it seems to take a little longer each night.

"Brian?"

"Don't Justin"

"Don't 'don't Justin' me!  This has to end.  You have three choices.  One you can talk to me about whatever is going on.  Two you can talk to a shrink about whatever is going on.  Or three I can move out again and you can deal with it on your own, the choice is yours.

"Don't fucking give me an ultimatum!"

"Take it any way you want Brian, but those are your choices."

After five minutes of silence I climb out of bed and start throwing some of my belongings into a duffle bag.  I'll just take a few things for now and get the rest later.

I'm almost to the door when I hear a very quiet "Don't go."  Dropping my duffle I go back into the bedroom and climb back on the bed.

Sitting cross legged on the bed I just stare at him waiting for an explanation.  I know he would never talk to a shrink so he really only had two choices, but I didn't want to point that out.

He sighs and starts to tell me his story.

"I've been having these nightmares."

"What about?"

"Well they are really more of a memory I've realized."

"From your childhood?  Something your bitch of a mom or asshole of a father did?"  He chuckles but I figured that's because he knows it was a pretty logical assumption.

"No, this is just from a few years ago.  Not long after I bought the loft.  It's well….it's a memory about a sexual encounter."

"Lindsay?"  Hey just guessing here.

"What?  No!  No…that was in college."  Ha I always thought so but now he just confirmed it.  I just nod my head in response.

"No, this is worse."  Worse than pussy?  I cringe because frankly I didn't think there was anything worse to him than pussy.

"It was that bitch Anita's fault really!"  I wonder what ever happened to Anita.  I always meant to thank her for whatever she gave Brian the night we met.  I've always been pretty sure that if he wasn't fairly messed up on drugs that night that he never would have let me stay, parents or no parents.

"Brian perhaps you need to stop blaming Anita, and why did you keep buying from her after this memory anyway?"

"Because obviously I repressed it or whatever the fuck!"  I'm trying hard not to laugh at him now, he sounds so exasperated.  I can already tell this is going to be one of those things that seem incredibly tragic to Brian, but not really so bad to everyone else, like when Prada sells out of what he wants.

"Brian can you just tell me so we can get past this and either sleep or fuck, because we are both in desperate need of both of those things."

"He brought over my taxes, and I was high, and there was this semi-orgy, and it all just happened so fast!"

"Who did?  When?"  What is he fucking talking about?  "What are you fucking talking about?"

"Ted!  Ted brought over my taxes that weekend that John John's plane went down.  Some other guys were here and I was high Justin.  I swear I was really fucked up on whatever she sold me.  My limbs were heavy and it made me both horny and lethargic!  Which is not good for a consummate top like me."

Ted?  What in the hell does Ted and sex have to do with Brian?

"Seriously Brian I'm not following here what the fuck happened that has you so freaked out?"

"I let him fuck me!"

"Who?"

"Ted!"

OH MY GOD!  I will not laugh, I will not laugh, I will not …. Oh shit I'm laughing anyway.

"Don't fucking laugh at me!"

"That?!?  That's what has had you so freaked out for almost a month?  Jesus Brian you had me really scared for awhile."

"What are you fucking talking about Justin, it is horrible!"

"Does anyone else know?"

"No – well I mean, Scott, Kevin, and the Todds were there.  But Scott and the Todds were busy on their own so I'm not sure they realized or who remembered who was in what position.  And Scott well I, well he… well he moved away anyway."

"So basically no one in the Pitts knows except for you and Ted, and now me.  Is that right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay so you aren't going to tell anyone, I'm not going to tell anyone, if Ted told anyone they would never believe him and it happened years ago.  Let it go."

Another five minutes of silence later and I hear him sigh resignedly.  Then he moves towards me with the predator look on his face and I realize I'm in for a good rough fucking tonight.

After he pushes me onto my back and starts kissing up my jaw bone he whispers in my ear a quick thanks.

Of course me being who I am I can't let it go completely so while he is fondling and kissing all my sensitive parts I can't help but ask "was it good?"

He chuckles before he admits "It wasn't bad.  Ted's actually got a decent sized dick, and…."

"Yeah I know."  

"What?!?"  Whoops….guess the cats out of the bad and we aren't done talking yet.

 

AN:  Okay I'm really really sorry.  My muse's evil twin – fucked up in the head muse – is responsible for this one.  If I caused you to lose your lunch, let me know and I'll refund you money!  ;-)


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